I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
