Porn is love you can see.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
