I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
