He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
