I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
