I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The uberlube is also flammable
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
