why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
