Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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