yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
