2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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