my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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