She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize