I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
