I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
