please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
