it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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