She is in my trunk
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
