seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
