I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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