hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my shit smells like andre
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think my moral compass just broke
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