your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My pussy is not your playground.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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