Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
