lets start a swedish sibling band together
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
