i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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