i think i have two assholes
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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