was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
