You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
