i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
