you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
