Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
