The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How does one acquire holy water?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
