she was so not down for the gang bang
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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