What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
