i think my mom watched the whole time
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
