Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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