before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
