Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
sex in a hospital.. check
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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