Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
