Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
