i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Actions speak louder than pants.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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