I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
