Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
