who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
