We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
