maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
