I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
