Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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