I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
