You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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