Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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