I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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